BRIGHT SHOOTS OF EVERLASTINGNESS

Back in August, I decided that one corner of my lawn could benefit from an autumn overseeding. I scuffed up the soil and pulled out debris that might interfere with germination. I raked the seed lightly into the soil and spread some fertilizer over it. Then I started watering it daily.

Day after day I went out and watered that patch of lawn. Watering was a real nuisance. I had a lot of other things I wanted to do instead of remembering to go out and water that grass seed. The first week went by. Eager to see the results of all my effort, I kept checking the soil. Nothing. No signs of a green sprout. A second week went by. Still hardly any sign that something was happening. Here I was watering day after day … with no results. I was really beginning to feel discouraged. I began asking myself whether I’d done something wrong. Not enough seed? Too much fertilizer? Not enough water? But I didn’t give up; I kept watering every morning and night. Finally, after almost three weeks, I saw tiny green shoots.

The whole experience got me thinking about spiritual lawn care. Jesus tells several parables about growing seeds. Everything from mustard seeds to a sower who went out to sow. Paul too is drawn to seed images. “I planted,” he writes in 1 Corinthians 3, “but Apollos watered it.”

In the same way that I decided to refresh and improve a patch of grass in my lawn, we can decide we want to refresh something in our lives. We may want to become more of who we know ourselves to be. So we set about some spiritual lawn care in our lives. We remove debris. We pull out the crab grass that’s choking out what we want more of. We add some new seeds that we hope will sprout into a greener, renewed life. We apply some fertilizer of discipline and intent. Yet, like with my lawn, nothing can seem to happen in the short run. We look and wonder whether we’ve done something wrong. We get discouraged. Maybe we give up, stop watering, and say it didn’t work. Or decide to try some other seed or fertilizer next spring.

God’s actions are seldom according to our time table, however. Changing deeply rooted patterns and habits in our lives takes time and intentionality. We see that in the story of Moses and the children of Israel as they wander in the wilderness. In our reading for this Sunday, Moses and Israel are discouraged and wondering if they have made the wrong choices. Moses begs to see a sign from God that this whole Exodus project is working. He wants to see God face-to-face. But God says Moses cannot see the results directly but only “from the backside.”

We see where God is at work in our lives, in other words, not in the immediacy of the moment but only by looking back at our lives over time. Only as we look back on an experience or experiences do we see what the 17th-century Welsh poet Henry Vaughn once described as the “bright shoots of everlastingness.”

One helpful spiritual practice is called an “examen of conscience.” An examen of conscience is an opportunity to take a few minutes at the end of the day to look back and ask oneself when were those moments during the day, those encounters with others, those tasks and actions, where we felt a quickening sense of God’s presence. Or to ask, looking back at this particular day, where were the missed opportunities to have experienced something or done something that might have brought greater authenticity or integrity into our lives. It’s a good practice for our spiritual lawn care.

Thomas

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